Haiku-tainment for the Prose-Weary

For those who value form over substance, I offer up for public ridicule some haiku musings of mine, reprinted (and slightly edited) from here.

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On gay marriage:

Kekkon wa
Obama ni yoreba
Okama dame

As for marriage ways,
According to Obama
No way for the gays.

Lawrence v. Texas
Souter gone, will we lose all?
Soyomayor says…

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On Mormon missionaries:

Mormons in haiku
demonstrate free agency,
pass the Turing test

Missionaries rap
Book of Mormon in haiku
Old wine in new skins.

LDS haiku,
yet not a one containing,
“And it came to pass…”

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On McNaughton's painting One Nation Under God:

Token black complies
Clarence Thomas in disguise?
Reality belies…

Blacks still in the rear
Satan whispers in gay's ear
Such do WASPs hold dear

Franklin clutching chest
Justice cannot watch the rest
Lying at its best.

Jesus now reveals:
Constitution, not Bible,
Is the Word of God.

Boy is so confused:
“Church and State shall not be fused”
Jesus not amused

The Second Coming
Jesus judges living, dead
Who will make the cut?

Painting shows the way
Pseudohagiography
sells better than truth.

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No haiku attempt is complete without literary criticism. Here is my response to one who did not care for the use of rhyming in the above haiku:

Critics I address,
To some rhyming I confess
Cease with your distress

To those who contend
“Rhyming haiku sense offend!”
Let me now defend

As one who adores
Rhyme which haiku underscores
How the purist roars!

Give your rules a rest
Grating rhyme is rhythm's zest
Fusion food tastes best.

Wisdom in five feet?
Even coffins are longer.
There ain't no free lunch!

Like one thousand cranes
Haiku speaks not of what is,
but to what should be